Sunday, January 10, 2016

A New Year, a New Word





In surveying the landscape of the New Year, the US elections loom large. If the past six months are any indication, I suspect we shall need new words to describe what we thought were unattainable moments of irrationality in various campaign speeches. Here is one such word from the realm of physics:


                                  Bozon: The imaginary quantum unit of stupidity.

The etymology of "bozon" remains mysterious. My conjecture is that its origin predates the internet. I propose a possible root of "Bozo" as in "Bozo the Clown," clearly an archaic reference. 





According to the Urban Dictionary (UD), "bozon" is a term related to "fermion" (a subatomic particle that includes quarks and leptons). The UD further provides a (spurious?) definition of fermion as an element that assists in fermentation. This made me imagine fermion as a catalyst for inebriation, but the UD's example involved fermenting corn to produce ethanol. Revenons à nos moutons. Bozon is not etymologically derived from fermion, but shares the "-on" suffix, which is handy poetically speaking. It may also be related to another term from physics, “boson.” However, the decisive factor resides in usage. The UD demonstrates:



                                  The accepted response to being called a bozon:


                                  Nerd 1: Adam, you are such a bozon.


                                  Nerd 2: Yeah, well, at least I am not a fermion.



So I suppose, if you really wanted to insult someone, you could call them a "bozon to the 10th degree." Or a fermion. (Note that fermions may have “spin,” a familiar characteristic of political rhetoric.)




Alternatively, you might rate a speech by how many bozons it transmitted into the airwaves. When candidates demonstrate a thorough lack of concern for actual people (as opposed to demographics) and problems to be solved (rather than hot-button issues), we are reduced to bozon counting when they speak. Perhaps it would help ease the tension of the election process if we offered a booby prize, rather than the presidency, to those who accumulate the most bozons. Then, just like in peewee rainbow soccer, everybody wins! ...Yay!






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