In surveying the landscape of the New Year, the US elections loom large.
If the past six months are any indication, I suspect we shall need new words to
describe what we thought were unattainable moments of irrationality in various
campaign speeches. Here is one such word from the realm of physics:
Bozon: The imaginary quantum unit of stupidity.
The etymology of "bozon" remains mysterious. My conjecture is that
its origin predates the internet. I propose a possible root of "Bozo"
as in "Bozo the Clown," clearly an archaic reference.
According to the Urban Dictionary (UD), "bozon" is a term
related to "fermion" (a subatomic particle that includes quarks and
leptons). The UD further provides a (spurious?) definition of fermion as an
element that assists in fermentation. This made me imagine fermion as a
catalyst for inebriation, but the UD's example involved fermenting corn to
produce ethanol. Revenons à nos moutons.
Bozon is not etymologically derived from fermion, but shares the
"-on" suffix, which is handy poetically speaking. It may also be
related to another term from physics, “boson.” However, the decisive factor
resides in usage. The UD demonstrates:
The accepted response to being called a bozon:
Nerd 1: Adam, you are such a bozon.
Nerd 2: Yeah, well, at least I am not a fermion.
So I suppose, if you really wanted to insult someone, you could call them a "bozon
to the 10th degree." Or a fermion. (Note that fermions may have “spin,” a
familiar characteristic of political rhetoric.)
Alternatively, you might rate a speech by how many bozons it transmitted into
the airwaves. When candidates demonstrate a thorough lack of concern for actual
people (as opposed to demographics) and problems to be solved (rather than
hot-button issues), we are reduced to bozon counting when they speak. Perhaps
it would help ease the tension of the election process if we offered a booby
prize, rather than the presidency, to those who accumulate the most bozons.
Then, just like in peewee rainbow soccer, everybody wins! ...Yay!
~*~
